Foiled Plans

Well. I called work on Thursday to find out how to go about coming back to work on Dec. 31. I'm probably really just barely ready, but I seriously need the money. They said I had to call my doctor and get released, then they would see if there were any restrictions, talk to Skeeter to see where I could be assigned, and that would be that. Well, that wasn't exactly that. I called my doctor, who hesitantly agreed to release me as long as I could sit half of the time (generally I stand all day, but have often done sitdown work, particularly when Skeeter needed me to do a lower level job for his convenience). They wanted me to still continue therapy for a couple of weeks after starting back to work, too. OK, so I called the nurse at work back and she was going to talk to Skeeter and call me back. She called on Friday, saying that she had talked to him and to the HR person, and I am not going to be allowed back right now! It seems that orders are really down, and that there is no work in my area for someone with that restriction. They are on (previously unplanned) shutdown next week, and Dec. 31 will only be a 4-hour day. And then for the first week of Jan, at least, they are on 36-hour weeks. At first I was really angry about that, since they tend to rush people back to work if they are on workers comp (I'm not). And I was furious that this is all in Skeeter's hands to say when I can come back. But I got an email today from someone at work who said that it really was true that there is almost no work, and that they gave 5 lack-of-works yesterday. So maybe I'm glad I'm not involved there right now. It's legal for me to work my tax job while I'm off (since they obviously have no work for me) so I should be able to put in quite a few hours there doing the OJT that is required at the first of the season. That will bring in a few dollars, anyway. I guess I should be trying to be more positive about this. It's just that I am SO broke, beyond broke. And so far my winning-the-lottery plan isn't working too well. I guess I'll feel better after the Christmas spending has stopped, but I'll still have the bills to pay. I think part of why I felt so crummy about this whole thing yesterday was that I was having a pretty bad day physically. My knees are absolutely killing me because I've been walking so much more, just like they would after any unaccustomed exercise. They gave me a new brace at therapy, one more flexible and comfortable than the air cast, but very supportive. It's what they put their athletes in when they start back to playing their sport. It has no hard plastic parts, just a lot of elastic, strapping and velcro (LOTS of velcro), and it takes approximately 20 minutes to put on correctly. (OK, it's not that bad, but it does take awhile to do because there are three layers to it.) It feels great once it's on, which has led me to walk more, which is hurting my knees. On the other hand, I have virtually no pain in my ankle at all, just the occasional twinge in my Achilles tendon. I have to keep in mind that I have only been walking on my own for a week (actually, it will be a full week at dinner time tonight), so I'm actually doing OK. Yesterday was two months since I broke the ankle, today is two months since the surgery.

Christmas is Coming - SOON

I have SO much to do today! I have guilted Kym into being my little Christmas Elf today and we are going to run a bunch of errands, as well as setting up the Christmas tree (she slipped through my fingers yesterday). I actually got some Christmas shopping done last night on my own. Turns out that Meijer also has those little electric carts, and while I don't like that store, it was handy -- and practically empty. I consider myself completely off of crutches now. I looked at canes at Meijer and the only one I would have considered is one just like Dad's, and I thought that might be weird. Anyway, I am planning to go back to work in two weeks, so I really don't think I need it. I thought about getting it anyway (and letting insurance pay for it) so that if I needed it in the future I'd have it, but I don't think it's worth the trouble. So... I am starting what I think is my last two weeks of being off work. I haven't been having nearly the swelling that I had before, and it's practically pain-free when I am wearing the brace and a shoe. It's almost not too bad in just a slipper (no brace), either, though barefoot or in socks still zings me a little. Partly because I've only been walking on my own for a day and partly because it's still so stiff, I walk very slowly, with an exaggerated limp. I have to fight not to hitch up my elbows with each step to get momentum. It takes me forever to get far, which is why I got the cart at Meijer. I will have to call work next week to arrange my "physical" there (in quotes because we only have a nurse, and all she does is listen to your heart, take your blood pressure, and look at your incision). I will have a handicapped parking spot there, too, which will be ultra-nice in this cold weather because it's inside the gate, just steps from the door. I need a new lunch bag since I threw the old one away in October. I had had it forever and it was nasty and falling apart. I have a couple of little projects that I want to get done before I go back, too, like cleaning the hall closet and working in the small bedroom to try to clear more space in there -- a task not finished from the living room remodel, before I broke the ankle. Also, the computer room needs to be shoveled out, and we need to get the router working again. I have to give back this borrowed laptop so it can go to FL with my parents just after Christmas. But I can't start anything until I hit the shower, so I'd better get busy!

Winter Arrives

We are in the midst of our first actual winter storm tonight. We previously had an ice storm, and some freezing rain, but this is snow -- big, fat flakes -- and it's piling up. Tonight was an annual Christmas program at the State Farm corporate headquarters, for which we had tickets. Braden was singing a solo. I rode with Mom and Dad, and we parked in a great handicapped spot. They let the "cripple crew" in early so we could sit down. Because of the ice and snow, and the possibility of problems using crutches on wet tile in the atrium, I left my crutches in the car and walked in, holding Chad's arm. And I actually did fine! In fact, I haven't used them all evening now. It's creeping Kym out a little to see me walk around without them. She asked how long I was "going to do that". :) Actually, I have had several milestones in the past few days. Yesterday I went to Target by myself. I crutched in, but decided that I didn't need an electric cart. I just got a basket, put my crutches in it, and clomped along, all the way to the bandaids. OK, it wasn't far, really, but it was enough. On the way back I had to stop several times because my calf was cramping up. This morning when I got up, I got out of bed on the far side so that I could make the bed, then walked without crutches or brace around the bed to the door. And tonight I walked up the stairs (I've been crawling up) to get my dress clothes for the Christmas program. I will probably pay heavily for it tomorrow or the next day, but I AM making progress! With this snow, getting back on both feet is absolutely essential to be able to get around. There is just no traction on wet tile with those crutches. I was thinking about getting a cane, but maybe I'm not going to need one. I'll wait and see how I feel in the next couple of days before I make that decision, though. Chad finally got the Christmas things up from the basement, and Kym and I will set it up tomorrow. While he was here, he also took more of his stuff (yay!) and he shoveled the drive and walk! The road was getting so slick on my way back from taking him home that I was getting a little worried about being able to stop at red lights. I can't say I really hate the snow, especially if I don't have any need to go out. A nice snowy day is good for setting up Christmas stuff. Maybe it will put me more in the mood for the holiday (my Christmas spirit is sadly lacking so far). I'm finally somewhat interested in getting some Christmas shopping done, which is good, but I'm pretty broke, which is bad. It will get done one way or the other, of course.

Warning: Icky-ness Ahead

Dad had knee replacement a week ago last Thursday. He was supposed to be in the hospital only for a couple of days, but it stretched into a full seven days. He was flaky and nauseous from the morphine at first, so they wanted to keep him an extra day. During that Saturday night Mom got up to help him (she was spending the night) and nearly passed out. After several hours in the ER, she was admitted and monitored, but they didn't really find anything. On Sunday, Dad needed some blood so they decided to keep him another day. Mom went home that night. During the night, thinking he was dreaming, Dad got up and walked to the door of his room where he fell, breaking open his entire incision. He then proceeded to crawl down the hall on his open knee. I can't even think about that part. Finally someone saw him. Fortunately, he doesn't remember much of it, or he remembers it as part of the dream. Long story short, he had to have more surgery to repair and clean and clean and clean it. Then he needed more blood and another surgery to insert a port in his chest so that he could have at-home antibiotics for the next six weeks. He went home on Wednesday. We have a regular Saturday night dinner at Steak n' Shake, and he wanted to go tonight. He can put full weight on his leg (better than me), so we tried it. I got there first, crutched in, and got seated at a table. Then they arrived, with Dad moving right along with his walker. So we had our own little handicapped section. We were supposed to get freezing rain this afternoon, but it held off (might even miss us all together) so that was good. No telling what kind of acrobatics might have ensued if we had had ice. Last week I skipped Steak n' Shake all together because we had ice then, too.

Almost There

Things change with my ankle almost every day. I spent two weeks in the first cast (the Duke blue one), then nine days in the purple one. At that point I got a removeable cast -- a boot. For the first time I could shower with both legs in the tub! The first time or two I was terrified that I was going to reinjure it, bump it, or something. It didn't have good feeling, so I had to be careful not to get the water too hot or anything. On one memorable occasion I knocked the bottle of body wash off the side of the tub with the hose of the handheld shower and it hit my foot. I made more noise then than I did when I broke the ankle in the first place. Kym was sure that I had really hurt myself, but I had to admit that I was mostly just scared. No damage done. Getting the boot required me to readjust my car seat to accomodate its larger size. It kept me from driving for a couple of days until Kym could take me up to the parking lot to try it out again. Did I mention how fun it was to have Kym take me driving? She clutched the armrests with a death grip while I tooled around the empty parking lot, terrified that the car was going to rocket out of control or something. I told her it was payback for when I had to go driving with her when she was learning to drive. Once the seat was adjusted driving turned out to be easier, since the boot could reach the floor (my foot was flat, not in the twisted position that it started in). Armed with the knowledge that I could now shower and drive (not at the same time, of course), I thought it was time that I tried sleeping upstairs in my own bed. Big mistake. I still had to sleep in the boot, and the rubber bottom and velcro straps got all caught up in the jersey knit sheets and I got my foot into a really uncomfortable position, waking me. I lasted about two hours up there, then came down and finished the night on the couch. A few days ago I had Kym change my bed to regular cotton sheets so that I could try it again. A week ago yesterday I went back to the doctor. I was going to ask for a smaller boot since the one I had was not the correct size according to the chart in the instructions. But because the bone had healed so well he decided to give me an air cast instead. An air cast is like two splints lined with cushy air-filled pads. I could once again wear regular athletic shoes on BOTH feet -- and I didn't have to wear it to sleep in!!! I was also told I could start putting weight on the leg. I started rehab last Tuesday. I go three days a week. The first day was an evaluation to see where I was to start with. The therapist told me that I was ahead of the game in terms of muscle tone and flexibility, which is what I was hoping he'd say. I still have a long way to go, though. They started me with exercises bending the foot up and down, in toward the center, circles in both directions, and writing the alphabet with my foot. Day #2 was, on the whole, pretty brutal. In addition to the exercises, the therapist spent a long time stretching my foot in directions that it would rather not go, thank you very much. We also did some resistance exercises and other things. Each time they end with ice and electric stimulation for the swelling. Day #3 was mostly exercises, stretching, and massaging the swelling out. I have exercises to do at home that seem to have helped a lot. I haven't really been wearing the air cast around the house much because I try to do the exercises as much as I can (can't do circles with the air cast on). Sometimes I get really discouraged by what I view as my lack of progress. I am so close to walking now that I think I should be farther along. I have to stop and remind myself that I was told in the beginning that I would be completely off of it for 6-8 weeks. Tomorrow will be seven weeks since I broke it, and I'm practically walking, so I'm NOT behind. I have to measure my progress in little things, like driving. A week ago when I first got the air cast, I could not push hard enough on the accelerator to be able to drive with that foot. Within a couple of days, I could do it, but I still used my left foot for the brake because I didn't think I could move my right foot over fast enough if I needed to. Today I got in the car and completely without thinking about it, I drove the regular way -- right foot for both tasks. I continue to try to put weight on the foot. Sometimes it's comfortable and other times it sends shocks shooting through my foot. I just never know. I think that's what discourages me the most. I can have a good day and really feel like I'm getting somewhere, and the next day it's shocking me so much I can hardly put it down. Part of the reason that I'm anxious about my progress is that money is becoming a really big problem. I hate even thinking about Christmas, but I'm going to have to get something done about that. I'm going to have to have Kym go shopping with me once she finishes her semester on Wednesday. How I'm going to pay for it is another issue, particularly since I'm buried in bills, but I'll come up with something. I think I'm done with the walker. I had gotten down to just using it when I went to shower, but I have been managing fine with crutches instead lately. Oh yeah, and I'm sleeping in my own bed now! I still have to crawl up the stairs and scoot down, but I get up there. So I just have to accept my "baby steps" and try to recognize new ones as they come along.