Almost There

Things change with my ankle almost every day. I spent two weeks in the first cast (the Duke blue one), then nine days in the purple one. At that point I got a removeable cast -- a boot. For the first time I could shower with both legs in the tub! The first time or two I was terrified that I was going to reinjure it, bump it, or something. It didn't have good feeling, so I had to be careful not to get the water too hot or anything. On one memorable occasion I knocked the bottle of body wash off the side of the tub with the hose of the handheld shower and it hit my foot. I made more noise then than I did when I broke the ankle in the first place. Kym was sure that I had really hurt myself, but I had to admit that I was mostly just scared. No damage done. Getting the boot required me to readjust my car seat to accomodate its larger size. It kept me from driving for a couple of days until Kym could take me up to the parking lot to try it out again. Did I mention how fun it was to have Kym take me driving? She clutched the armrests with a death grip while I tooled around the empty parking lot, terrified that the car was going to rocket out of control or something. I told her it was payback for when I had to go driving with her when she was learning to drive. Once the seat was adjusted driving turned out to be easier, since the boot could reach the floor (my foot was flat, not in the twisted position that it started in). Armed with the knowledge that I could now shower and drive (not at the same time, of course), I thought it was time that I tried sleeping upstairs in my own bed. Big mistake. I still had to sleep in the boot, and the rubber bottom and velcro straps got all caught up in the jersey knit sheets and I got my foot into a really uncomfortable position, waking me. I lasted about two hours up there, then came down and finished the night on the couch. A few days ago I had Kym change my bed to regular cotton sheets so that I could try it again. A week ago yesterday I went back to the doctor. I was going to ask for a smaller boot since the one I had was not the correct size according to the chart in the instructions. But because the bone had healed so well he decided to give me an air cast instead. An air cast is like two splints lined with cushy air-filled pads. I could once again wear regular athletic shoes on BOTH feet -- and I didn't have to wear it to sleep in!!! I was also told I could start putting weight on the leg. I started rehab last Tuesday. I go three days a week. The first day was an evaluation to see where I was to start with. The therapist told me that I was ahead of the game in terms of muscle tone and flexibility, which is what I was hoping he'd say. I still have a long way to go, though. They started me with exercises bending the foot up and down, in toward the center, circles in both directions, and writing the alphabet with my foot. Day #2 was, on the whole, pretty brutal. In addition to the exercises, the therapist spent a long time stretching my foot in directions that it would rather not go, thank you very much. We also did some resistance exercises and other things. Each time they end with ice and electric stimulation for the swelling. Day #3 was mostly exercises, stretching, and massaging the swelling out. I have exercises to do at home that seem to have helped a lot. I haven't really been wearing the air cast around the house much because I try to do the exercises as much as I can (can't do circles with the air cast on). Sometimes I get really discouraged by what I view as my lack of progress. I am so close to walking now that I think I should be farther along. I have to stop and remind myself that I was told in the beginning that I would be completely off of it for 6-8 weeks. Tomorrow will be seven weeks since I broke it, and I'm practically walking, so I'm NOT behind. I have to measure my progress in little things, like driving. A week ago when I first got the air cast, I could not push hard enough on the accelerator to be able to drive with that foot. Within a couple of days, I could do it, but I still used my left foot for the brake because I didn't think I could move my right foot over fast enough if I needed to. Today I got in the car and completely without thinking about it, I drove the regular way -- right foot for both tasks. I continue to try to put weight on the foot. Sometimes it's comfortable and other times it sends shocks shooting through my foot. I just never know. I think that's what discourages me the most. I can have a good day and really feel like I'm getting somewhere, and the next day it's shocking me so much I can hardly put it down. Part of the reason that I'm anxious about my progress is that money is becoming a really big problem. I hate even thinking about Christmas, but I'm going to have to get something done about that. I'm going to have to have Kym go shopping with me once she finishes her semester on Wednesday. How I'm going to pay for it is another issue, particularly since I'm buried in bills, but I'll come up with something. I think I'm done with the walker. I had gotten down to just using it when I went to shower, but I have been managing fine with crutches instead lately. Oh yeah, and I'm sleeping in my own bed now! I still have to crawl up the stairs and scoot down, but I get up there. So I just have to accept my "baby steps" and try to recognize new ones as they come along.